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The Starr Report: How to Date Up

Do you want to date someone who’s a little bit cuter? Someone who seems out of your league? Allow me to take all the fun mystery out of dating.

Unsurprisingly, everyone wants to end up with the person we find most attractive. But dating is two-sided: we can’t just “choose” someone, since they also have to think of us as a catch. This creates a two-sided marketplace. How high do you aim? But more importantly: who do you decide to pursue?

Most of the time, we pursue someone who looks the part: someone cute who finds us cute. Someone who looks like they’d be a good significant other. But the long road, a.k.a. the slow burn, is the best method to figuring out other people. Don’t immediately pursue others or put them in the friend zone. The way we learn about other people means that we often mistakenly let single or meaningless traits define the way we see them. Suspend judgment. Don’t think you have an idea of how you’ll end up relating to someone. Be patient.

The Starr Report: How Daniel Kahneman Helped Me Win at CrossFit

WYSIATI: the focusing illusion! Because we overemphasize the information that’s in front of our face, we don’t even realize how little we know. It’s easy to say that others who have what we want are lucky, simply because we often fail to see how different their lives are from our own.

Thank you, Daniel Kahneman, for helping me become the fittest female at my gym. You are the patron saint of my abs.

The Starr Report: Why Self-Esteem Will Make You Luckier

What is self-esteem? It’s a commonly misunderstood trait that commonly gets mistaken for narcissism, in which people have a high, unstable self-esteem. A healthy self-esteem is stable, and a high global self-esteem is actually a great predictor of life outcomes.

On this episode of The Starr Report: Why You Should Wear My Love Like a Tattoo:

Ready to get lucky?

Passion, like discriminating taste, grows on its use. You more likely act yourself into feeling than feel yourself into action.

Jerome Bruner

® 2012-2018 Karla Starr | All rights reserved | Privacy Policy

Can You Learn to be Lucky: Why Some People Seem to Win More Often Than Others by Karla Starr

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