2018 was the most stressful year of my life. Invasive surgery, multiple deaths in the family, making a big hiring mistake, dealing with another family member’s mental health issues—when I was supposed to be focused on promoting the book that I’d spent years working on, I was dealing with all of these, instead. This timing, I believe, can be called bad luck.

After I returned from the last funeral, I started taking my own advice: staying positive, prioritizing my health, throwing out clutter in my apartment and schedule. I realized that I was still too inwardly focused—ruminating about the past, comparing myself to others—instead of directing my attention outwards, where it’s most useful: my actions and thinking about how to help others.

Every year, I celebrate January 31st, my Anniversary of Not Dying (when I almost died in a car accident); to recover from 2018, I was planning on making the 16th Anniversary of Not Dying a special one. (My car accident is now old enough to drive!) However, as the result of digging deep into my own advice, I completely forgot about it. I was happily caught up in the moment.

What happened? This: