I’m a straight, single, cisgender woman who has been dating in New York for 5 years. Send help. But because I believe in turning my experiences into something useful for others, here’s an insight for single men looking to meet someone special, even if you define “special” as “for the next 3 hours.”
Guys I’ve dated have fallen into 1 of 2 categories:
- Those who would love a 15% raise. Maybe they want nicer things, a bigger place, or to feel more valued at work. But, deep down, are somewhat self-conscious about their income.
- Those who Obviously Make Lots of Money. If they don’t live in expensive buildings, they’re in Amazing Places inside modest buildings. Socioeconomic class can also be revealed in cues like posture, body language, physique, clothes/shoes (brand, coordination, upkeep, and how well they’re tailored), accessories (watches and cuff links), and haircut. Other giveaways include, obviously, someone’s job/title, their relationship to work, level of autonomy at work, what they tend to notice, and what they get stressed out. When dating, deep down, they’re paranoid that women only want them for their money.
It reminds me of rule #6, in The Rules for Being Human: “‘There’ is no better than ‘here.’ When your there has become your here, you will simply obtain another there that will again look better than here.
It’s not how much you have. It’s the difference between what you have and what you spend. If you have more than you spend, you’re rich. If you spend more than you have, you’re not. If you live cheaply, it’s easy to be free.
–Derek Sivers