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The Starr Report: Have No Fear, Your Psychological Immune System is Here

2018 was the most stressful year of my life. Invasive surgery, multiple deaths in the family, making a big hiring mistake, dealing with another family member’s mental health issues—when I was supposed to be focused on promoting the book that I’d spent years working on, I was dealing with all of these, instead. This timing, I believe, can be called bad luck.

After I returned from the last funeral, I started taking my own advice: staying positive, prioritizing my health, throwing out clutter in my apartment and schedule. I realized that I was still too inwardly focused—ruminating about the past, comparing myself to others—instead of directing my attention outwards, where it’s most useful: my actions and thinking about how to help others.

Every year, I celebrate January 31st, my Anniversary of Not Dying (when I almost died in a car accident); to recover from 2018, I was planning on making the 16th Anniversary of Not Dying a special one. (My car accident is now old enough to drive!) However, as the result of digging deep into my own advice, I completely forgot about it. I was happily caught up in the moment.

What happened? This:

 

The Starr Report: Be a Master, Not a Performer

They say it takes 10,000 hours to become an expert – but not just any ol’ hours will do. The more efficient way to learn is deliberate practice, which involves looking at our mistakes, head on. Here’s how we can develop a better relationship with errors:

The Starr Report: The best thing you can believe about yourself

Growth mindset! Self-efficacy! Yes, you can!

Here are some things that we can actually change and/or improve:

  • Our personality
  • Willpower/self-control
  • Attention
  • Ability to learn math/music
  • Coordination
  • Creativity
  • Body weight

So… just about anything. Seeing the results of your changed behaviors takes time, one reason why so many people give up prematurely. Don’t give up.

The Starr Report: What is Luck?

What is luck? In a nutshell, it’s a causal attribution, or a way we describe how things happen – especially when they’re beyond our control. It exists, but here’s why we shouldn’t fixate on that:

The Starr Report: Back It Up

A promise to make a new video each week proves to be no match for a family tragedy. One of the keys to getting lucky is to keep bad luck as far away as possible. Here, I share what I learned—which would make my grandpa proud.

What do you need to back up in 2019? Hint: as much as possible!

Ready to get lucky?

To free us from the expectations of others, to give us back to ourselves—there lies the great, singular power of self-respect.

Joan Didion

® 2012-2018 Karla Starr | All rights reserved | Privacy Policy

Can You Learn to be Lucky: Why Some People Seem to Win More Often Than Others by Karla Starr

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